If Only I Could Strike Back At The SEO Consultant Slime

March 23, 2009 - 7:46pm

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Nothing makes you feel "not so special" like having the majority of your daily comments -- that pass captchas mind you --  left by bottom feeding SEO consultants. Now before I explain why these consultants are bottom feeders, and why you could teach an 8 year old chimp to do their job* (which they charge upwards $75.00 by the hour!... adding insult to injury) let me tell you why I can't defend myself.

  • When a commenter leaves a link to a useful resource, I want that resource to get google juice. I could use the rel=nofollow trick, but I've found time and again, my commenters are smarter than me. I don't blog enough these days to be a link power whore.
  • I think requiring commenters to give their email address is silly, and weird.
  • Above all, I'd rather take on a bit of work than require a knowledgable commenter to have to go through a process to to give me (and my readers) some valuable insight.

So, the scumsuckers are all over me. I can fight back by deleting their comments, but I feel like that isn't good enough. NO! I want to flag their comments, and their stupid "college essays written overnight", "flordia vaction home" chucking domains, and have a way to punish them via google. Please google, give me a way to flag these muppets!

This is an issue of morality. I don't buy the argument that I have to make it a pain in the ass for someone to contribute knowledge on my website. Why must the sincere suffer?! Can there not be a way to flag these snake's domains with a demerit, then another one, with each spam left by these damn human spam bots?

In the meantime, I'll continue spending my time pruning their humbug from my site, and hoping I don't accidently delete someone who never intended to spam me (i'm sure it happens).

Notes:

*Who gives a shit how they do it?! I'm sure it can be done with a combination of googling, and trial and error. I'm sure a few firefox extensions can make any old bloke into a "SEO marketing consultant" -- try SEOQuake... that one is good. There are a variety of services that charge a high monthly price for keyword trending analysis, but they are probably just scams -- like everything else in the SEO industry. THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR EXCEPTIONAL CONTENT -- NEVER FORGET THAT.

They'll probably try to scam you by bombarding you with crap like "We do complex keyword density competive analysis, and leave targetted guerrilla social media interactions that will directly improve your bottom line". I wouldn't put that kind of shit past them.

If I sound pissed off and angry, well, guilty as charged. There are good SEO consultants, and none of them employ the bullshit that I'm rallying against. They usually advise things like "Write content that your visitors will find useful." While that's not a magic bullet, that's an SEO consultant who's telling it to you like it is -- and they may very well be worth your money.