How to Become a Popular Blogger

12.15.2005

Preface

I'm not an a-list blogger. At most, I might be considered an "influential blogger". However, I have both a professional and intellectual interest in the subject of blogging. I've been following the evolution of blogging for about two years now. This interest drove me out of college and straight into career of web design, development, and consulting that centers around "bloggy" web applications. That's my background, and I'm sticking to it.

Step One: Come to Terms with Reality

Regardless of who you are, or who you think you are, the truth is no one cares. To get around this sad fact, you have two options:

  1. Offer useful insight regarding a specific subject in which you have expertise.(like the tutorials on drupal development at this blog)
  2. Slap a picture of a very attractive female on your header, and start writing sassy and largely incorrect polemics. Preferably, you should be a staunch, anti-bush libertarian who believes the Clintons are childern of Satan.

Needless to say, we're going to go with option two for the purposes of this tutorial.

Step Two: Develop your Brand

Regardless of your gender, understand that you are now female. So, for the sake of example, I am now Nicole Lewis.(WhatEVER!)<---me getting into character.

Now, you'll need a picture of your new self. This can get tricky. Your image needs to be of a very attractive woman, and yet must be of one who either a)no one will recognize, or b)is in on it. If your serious about becoming a popular blogger, you'll find a way to pull this off. However, once you find that picture, you're set. After about a 15 minute search, I decided on a my "Nicole Lewis", and the design and content just flowed from there. Observe:

Final Notes on Part One

Today we've learned about the importance of being a sassy attractive woman in the blogosphere. For the more motivated students, I'd like to point you to a brilliant real life example of this strategy: Hot Abercrombie Chick

Comments

The no ads policy really counts

It's so nice to be able to come by and not have to switch on all my junk busting stuff. I have recently started to narrow who I will read on that basis. It is especially nice that the exclusion, and sacrifice, were done of the basis of valuing others. What a rarity! As social currency, the gallows humor and satirical morality plays -- where the outcome favors the least worthy -- are hard to beat. Once you've lived a little and been through some tough times, they're the best. The vulgarity is surface. It's a tension breaker that lets people know there's nothing pompous headed their way. People who really do know things can be intimidating to some, and we do have an anti-intellectual culture that warps that uneasiness into disdain. I'm sorrry that I can't discuss Foucault or Rachmaninoff with any insights, but I can talk about some aspects of decentralized, anarchic networks. The social currencies they adopt are particularly intriguing. Alas, I can't edit worth shit.

Boobs trump content.

As someone who works very hard on my own blog and has been studying SEO techniques for the past year, I can vouch for this. Your article is only slightly exaggerated. I've noticed several blogs that follow your formula that have only been started within the last few months. The writing is terrible (regardless of the politics) and the content is only sporaticly updated; yet they get heavy traffic and people leave lots of comments. I'll admit it: I'm jealous. I guess this means that those of us who don't have a nice rack, or are not willing to pretend that we have one, are just going to have to focus on quality content. Dammit.

Boobs trump content.

I'd probably argue that its less of a matter of boobs trumping content as it is leveraging the power of lonely, pathetic men on the Internet. They would seem to be overwhelmingly abundent. I'd like to think that something more complex is going on in their head other than "huh -- she's a hot honey..." Its worth noting that I know several bloggers who do have frontal plumage which has a tendency to attract the male homo-sapien. Yet, they see no advantage in picking up an audience of lonely trekkies, so they do not include pictures of themselves. Notice that this admittedly satircal tutorial doesn't say any thing about picking up a valuable audience -- it merely explains a proven method of becoming popular. I think the point is that woman don't have an inherent advantage so much as bloggers who put up pictures of attractive woman, and say that they are that they are that attractive woman have an inherent advantage.

That insight would have killed a lesser man

Fortunately, you have a good sense of humor. How does one determine what a valuable audience is? Borrowing, if it's okay, from your college experience that definition is going to evolve out of recognition as you learn and pursue your goals. And as your satire ably demonstrates, merit has nothing to do with gaining an audience of any sort, whether valuable or simply pathetic and annoying. My feeling is that it's better to attract good people, according to metrics of conviviality, moral sense -- without moralizing -- and the ability to get a joke.

On Valuable Audiences

Actually -- I think you're dead on. I think you even described -- and this is sheer speculation -- why a number of people beyond my family bother reading me on a regular basis. Because in all reality, "just who the hell is Nick Lewis?"*

I know for a fact that my audience is quite valuable. I'm not kidding when I say that my audience launched my entire career, and is responsbile for the majority of my income (prior to when I became a servant of the VISTA program and took a very real, and increasingly impractical vow of poverty...). Once, I found myself in really bad situation, and not really knowing what to do, I wrote them for help. By the second day, I woke up and found more than enough financial help to get me out of an impossible situation. Upon seeing what they had given me, I immediately broke down crying. My friends that I'd known since grade school would probably not have even given me 20 dollars to help. And yet my readers, most of whom I've never met -- helped me -- someone who they only knew through a blog. What a thought provoking moment that was... realizing that your readers were more willing to help you than your best longtime friends...(of course, we my friends are starving college students... but still).

The single largest point of that story, however, is that for all the help I received, my traffic wasn't astronomical. I think it was 200 hits a day at that point. However, it was 200 hits that gave a damn. And that is far more valuable than 10,000 creeps who might give you a marginal check every month via ad-sense.

Bringing this around to your question, "value" is completely in the eye of the beholder. You'll notice no ads here. And while my traffic levels could make me a nice chuck of money through an adsense block, I 've never even considered putting up ads. And the reason is entirely because of what I value from an audience, and, its a subtle message of respect. Plainly, it says, "I'm not exploiting you".

Since money is not my motivation, its very difficult to connect size with value. Indeed, its a rule that in order to gain a large audience, you must speak to everyone's gossipy, vulgar, and reptilian brained side. The reason being that people are quite similar in terms of what vulgarities they find interest. In fact, at parties, I've noted that the subject of sex, or defication always leads to a large, and very dynamic conversation -- nearly everyone has something to say, and often its quite funny.

However, in terms of our higher, noble, and beautiful interests, people are very diverse. When I discuss classical piano, I'm definately not trying to reach a massive audience, and yet -- there is a group of people on the internet that are so desperate to find someone else who listens to Rachmaninoff that my posts on Classical piano bring in a significant portion of my traffic. Some of the best discussions I've ever had were on the thoughts of Michael Foucault.

Did I mention I'm long winded? lets end up this magnificent tomb of a comment with a pithy answer to what I value in an audience: As a 23-year old, who is surrounded by stoners, I yearn to find people who bother with figures like Sergei Rachmaninoff and Michel Foucault; I am desperate for discussions on how the Internet can enable widespread social change through decentralized, and uncontrolled bands of people who are loosely connect. My audience gives me that gift, and in return I give them the gift of someone else who bothers to write about such matters. In addition, they share my sick sense of humor, which is often the single biggest factor. Now.. someone find me a bloody editor.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • You may post code using <code>...</code> (generic) or <?php ... ?> (highlighted PHP) tags.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.