One Million Hits and Counting

I just re-enabled my traffic graphs, and found out that I've received just short of 200,000 hits in the past 30 days. It occurred to me that in this blogs year of existence, it has passed long one-million mark for page hits. This is a glorious moment for us -- me and my blog -- and so before celebrating our success, I wanted to thank all of the little people who made it possible for us to be here today:

CNN -- What can I say? Thank you. Your half of what got me here.

Spammers -- I love to hate you. But really, your out of control scripts have hit this blog so quickly, and with such force that you've crashed our poor server not one, two, but three times. I know that without you, I could not fully delude myself into thinking a million people read me -- I'd be alone, with some number in high hundreds of thousands, and not millions, that's for sure!

Drupal -- prior to 4.7 you were the most clickity click platform ever. Just to get to my refferrer logs, I had to click through 5 seperate pages. The number 5 doesn't seem like a lot, but over the course of a year it ads up. I'll never know how many hits you put in to my glorious number, but at the very least, you deserve an honerable mention.

IE Explorer -- Through the 6 or 7 designs this blog has gone through, IE explorer's unique approach to CSS has ensured that I'd have to give myself the gift of thousands of hits to my logs to get the freaking margins, padding, and bloody-fork-stuck-in-my-eye layout to work correctly. To the entire team who devised IE explorer 6, I'd like to say thank you. And in addition, I have donated (or lost) at least 10 years off of my life from the stress that your browser's handling of CSS has inflicted upon me. I never really wanted to be 80 anyways. Thank you.

And finally, those of you have actually stumbled on this page. I hope all 120,000 of you still think fukitol is funny. I think you're funny, personally. And to the 80,000 of you who just can't wait to get your hands on another microsoft browser, I do hope at least one of you actually found a remaining public download site. You don't really expect me to update that page, do you?

And last, but certainly not least, to the folks who actually read my blog.

Nick Lewis: The (web)Blogathon!!!! 

I want to hold a telethon for this occassion. I always told myself that once I hit the top, I'd give back. Somebody get me Bob Barker. I don't particularly care for his style of hosting, or his flavour of "television personality" but I LOVE his little microphone with the long neck. Actually come to think of it, screw Barker, and get me one of those Microphones.

Also, I need some washed up rockers to put on 7 minute musical sets gives my audience an experience of what  eternity must be like.  A few years ago, I would of said "McJagger!", but his last album was a bit too good. Let's see, oh, of course get me Paul McCartney! And come to think of it, let's have him host the show, and we'll give him a barker-mic. Make sure he writes one of those songs that has no verses, and is only a chorus. Something catchy like, "We're gonna keep on coming!", and make it go over and over again, moving from only subdominate to dominate chords. I think that putting some extras in the background with NYFD t-shirts would be good effect.

Lastly, we'll need a creative name. How bout: Nick Lewis: The Blogithon! I thought of that myself,btw. Actually, we should probably add two more exclaimation points for impact in the final version of the logo.

ut don't let me take the show here, I'm like George W. Bush -- I have no thoughts, knowledge, or intelligence, but I surround myself with people who other people say do have all that stuff. Then I weigh and balance their thoughts and intelligence.

Hmmm.... Yes, this is looking like a very good idea. 

And remember kids: Freedom has no room for advertisers.