Holy Christ AOL is Lame

Okay, so time for a confession. I use AOL instant messenger for IM. Its not that I'm unaware that there are better clients; really its just that I'm lazy, and all of my contacts are on it.

As most AIM users have no doubt noticed, everytime you sign on, a stupid AIM browser opens up, and you get to take a quick look at the AIM homepage. This is a picture of the one I saw tonight:

Now this is worth sharing for a number of reasons.

AOL's Potential Investors Should Take Note of How Effectively Instant Messenger is Targetting its Ads -- As a matter of a fact, AOL is even aware of the fact that I'm a 24 year old male who works as a web designer. I'm not a brilliant programmer, but I know for a fact that if I had data on a suser, I could easily return specialized content to them. And that's why I thought it was so brilliant that they decided inform me that Shakira is back.

That's right SHARKIRA.

And the text, "Just when you thougt it couldn't get any better, Shakira shakes it onto stage" is a priceless gem in itself. As it turns out, when the page loaded, I did in fact ask myself, "can it get any better than this?" Turns out it could! AOL, its really awesome that you know what a 24 year old male web designer is interested in. Thank you.

Who write's the copy for this shit, might I ask? I had to re-read this sentence several times before I was fully able to take in its satanic lameness. I urge the reader to re-read it several times too:

Axl Brings Back Rock!This "Rose" has a 'tude

Okay, the quotations around "Rose" were nice. I hadn't initially caught the brilliant play on words the author is making. Get it? His Axl's last name is Rose, and he IS a rose -- cause he's in Guns and Roses. The worst part about those quotations is that the reveal that the author was in fact very proud of himself for figuring that out. Copy writer, we here at Nick Lewis: The Blog are very proud of you too. However, this was just a warm up, THIS is what puts AOL into a completely new universe of lameness:

AOL Thinks if It Greets you in a foreign language, it can be cool like Flickr

That is SO pathetic. Its like some pathetic high school girl who wants to be cool, so she goes and buys the same clothes as someone else. This is like trying to tell someone else's story to someone only to realize that they were the one's who told you the story to begin with..

Oh -- and did you notice?

THEY MISSPELLED GUTEN TAG IN THE PROCESS

Like I said, Holy Christ! AOL is lame...