Restless Summer

Ugh. I am so tired. So stressed. I must move soon. Since returning from Vermont, I've been staying with mi familia -- which has been relaxing. However, being 23, its difficult to get too comfortable. When I left for Vermont, I had a plan, and it was a simple one. I was going to move in with an old buddy, and leave it at that. However, things have changed rather dramatically for me over the summer.

I've had a flight to health, as Karl Jung would say, and decided to leave the drink back in college where it belongs. You see, I came to realize that there were people who could drink normally, and then there were people like me, who have Russian-Native American-German-Irish roots. Need I say more.

Getting back to my planned move, and change of those plans. Basically, almost every single one of my friends -- and I love them all to death -- are starting to have very little in common with me. So, as it turns out, through high school, and college, many of our friendships were born and sustained through constant and wild partying. If I could do it over again, I would have partied harder back then. I'm sorry, I had a great time. However, recently I've been seeing more and more of "the ghost of Christmas Future", or that 32 year old who shows up to all of the college parties slobbering drunk. He never fits in, he creeps out all of the girls, and he has nothing to talk about except how hard he parties now, and how hard he partied then. His beer gut bulges. His face is wrinkled. If he's lucky, there might be an assistant manager position open for him in the future.  Yes, the ghost scares the living crap out of me.

That said, I'm going to have one upset buddy when he finds out I'm deciding I need to live alone. Is this selfish of me? Absolutely. But in this case, I guess I decided I needed to look after my own. I'm just tired of opening doors to the past, and if a lonely fall and winter is the price, than so be it. I still have the rest of my life to look forward too.